Kid Facts!

I am in the train to bangalore and there is this cute family- mom,elder daughter(around 5) and younger daughter(all of 8 months) next to me in the remaining 2 seats of the three seater.Travelling by shatabdhi is usually a pleasure for anyone.. but not for young moms like her i figure out. Every half an hour the attender brings us something to eat. While all of us are busy chomp chomping the good food, she is all in a mess..The 8 month old cant be fed anything but pure unadulterated feeding bottle stuff and the 5 year old would do everything but eat.. All the biscuits are strewn around, the bread is half eaten, the idlies are not tasty she says..”aaargh! these twwoooooo” goes the mom.. She gives the 8 month old to me and starts the ‘process’ of making the 5 year old gobble something atleast so that she doesnt have to run into the kitchen right after the long journey. One mouth and she runs out of the chair.Manishaa come and eat.. otherwise the eagle will come and take it away she says pointing to one bird flying along the train.. man! I was scared of the same eagle as a young kid.. I knew there was more to come.. there were a lot of such ‘kid-facts’ you HAD-TO-KNOW as a kid.. !

•  ”All police/watchman uncles in khakhi/white/blue are meant to scare you into eating food or stop you from troubling your mom to get you a toy.” wat?? catching thieves? maintaining law&order?? naaah.. thats not their job! they are paid just to scare small kids man! u dunno??
• “If you dont sleep by 9 30 mr bhoochi(name varies from region to region) would come and and put you in a sack and take you away into the forest.. even day before yesterday he took two kids from the next to next street! ” shit man!! better sleeeep !!!zzzzzzzzzzzzz!!
• “If you lie to mom/dad, the next time you go out a crow would peck you”.. yes jhoot bole kauva kate it is!!If any of ur favourite things(like dad’s watch/specs, glass objects,anything u’d like to break and see wat’s inside) suddenly go missing its always “The crow took it and flew away”(shooot these damn crows!!!)
• “If you dont give someone water when they ask you, you would be born as a lizard in your next birth!” This one was scary.. me and my sis would really torture each other with this… We would be up in the terrace playin and my sis would simply say get me water or else….. and i would charge down the stairs like m life depended on it and get it before she thinks of completing the sentence..!(imagine being born a lizard!!! eyuuuuckk!)
• “If your tooth pops out bury it immediately in the same place or else it wont grow back!!” This was a really bad one..! The last period for the day was P.T and we were doing the usual 3 rounds of jogging when my first tooth fell down.. I came back home and my sis screamed…”waaaaaaaaat.. you did not bury it?? pochu po! it wont grow back..! thats it..you ll have only 31 teeth when u grow up…!ppl will call you ‘oootta palli’… cheee!! THAT was it… i ran back to school… ran round and round the ground for 2 hrs in the hot sun.. finally found the tooth… and buried it.. PHEW!! It grew back! and i have 32 teeeth.. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:)
•  Then the universal “one for sorrow two for joy” thingy… “
• If you open your eyes in between when praying in the temple god will punish you!” (learn concentration lesson 1 dude!)

Wonder who generates these things! Some mom like the one next to me for sureee! Though there is not an ounce of truth in it… thinking back.. its been fun! Some things never change..!Am sure u will use these on ur kid too!! You will!

 

Sieze their shoes I say!!

The last working day of last week turned out to be a rather bare… oops I mean sour… Hey I can actually say bare considering the fact that I realized the hard way how difficult it is being bare-foot in a country like ours. It was around 6:15 Friday evening. I usually have this devilish pleasure in getting up from my place only after 6: 25 for the 6 30 bus , fleeing down the stairs and catching the bus right in the nick of time but yesterday by some strange coincidence I decided to get up at 6 17 itself. I bade my good bye and made a balle-ish turn when suddenly SNAPP! The thin black strap of my even thinner black sandal had decided to popp out of its holder and leave me one slipper less. Oh no! wat to I do now??!! was my immediate reaction. Nothing much considering the fact there was noo way I could get another pair of slippers in an 8000 strong office built in some god forsaken place off city limits unless it rained shoes or I shamelessly stole it from one of my sweet colleagues. Since getting another pair was outta question next was to do some quick fix.. I did not seem stickable so we decided to pin it up with something. Babloo got some board pins and tried to pin it, punch it ,stand on it and what not! In vain! It was 6 27 and missing this bus meant I had to roam slipper-less in office till 8! Chuck it! He lost hope! He had only one piece of advice for me. Think you are walking to sabarimala and run! Wat else cud I do? I threw the blackies into the bin and raaan! I was feeling the office carpet with my bare feet for the first time.. the A/c cold stairs and the marble lobby too… I was soo embarrassed I could hardly walk. The bus stand was a good distance away and I had to walk all the way bare foot! To top it all, it was raining! I was praying no one would notice and ask me. Thankfully no one I knew came in the way of my run! My boot cut jeans was serving its full purpose today! It was doing the job of hiding my bare feet! Spotted the bus! I ran inside and it started. Happa! Its over! It was then that it dawned that the nightmare was jus going to begin. Bus stands and railway stations are the dirtiest places in our country and for god’s sake imagine walking through them in these swine-flu ridden times barefoot!Bad luck i had to!Mummmmyy…. ! The bus stopped and I was in nooo mood to get down. But I had to or else the barefoot distance would only increase. I got down in the bus stand. I was standing on my toes and helplessly looking around for even a rubber slipper shop. There were none. I had to cross the road to the other side and climb the railway bridge. Then I had to walk to good distance to the scooter stand take my scooter and drive to the shoe shop.(oh no:() I stepped on to the tar road and walked as fast as I could.. onto the divider and then the other side. This was the part I was dredding. The railway station. The steps each had 5 inches of dirt on them, there were paan marks all over the place… one rabid dog climbing the steps jus ahead of me …. aaargh… 4 steps at a time I said to myself… ! but I am not that big babol guy with elongated hands and legs! Two was the most I could. I reached the top landing. There were rotten vegetables strewn all over, the rabid dog was now peeing, one old grandpa decided he had enough of his paan and spat it.. I was now tip toeing…I got to the other set of steps and ran down without noticing anything else.railway station over.. the next was the road to the stand and boy! Disaster! Even tip toeing was difficult. Every centimeter was covered with something un steppable! Ice cream cups.. cigarette buts.. rotten fruits.. flowers.. plantain leaves… cow dung… polythene bags.. human saliva… half eaten plates of food.. slush from the rain.. juice bottles…news papers.. faeces…( I am sure u are saying eeeyuccckkk by now!) and if I managed to avoid all this.. aaaa! the stones were pricking ouch!! I jus realized wat all shit we were walking on everyday! I reached the stand and took my bike.. ran to the nearest shop and got the sturdiest of slippers that were available. As I reached home I felt like worshipping my shoes like the way bharatha worshipped rama’s slippers ! wat all it is protecting us against! My god! I washed my feet and sat down to think! This is definitely a lesson. We should stop littering the roads. There are so many who cant afford a pair of slippers. If one day was so difficult for me.. imagine their case! Please donate your old slippers and shoes to anyone u spot without them.. ! Infact after this episode I think the best punishment that can be given to anyone seen literring the roads or defecating in public is to let them walk barefoot! Sieze their shoes I say!!

 

Hey wordpress! Wassup dude??

A calm.. sunday evening… me and grandma walk along the dusty roads and reach the destination two streets away..It was my first time to an astrologer’s! Boy! I was excited! I have never really believed in it and was eager to see what it was all about…  We reached the place and aunty led us to the room where my friend’s thatha who is the astrologer was sitting. The 92 year old smiling man led us in. He was all of five feet, occupying 1/5^th of his huge bed. Wasting no time, he took the horoscope from me. He had told us not to tell him what we had come for. He said he would find out! Hmm! Loves challenges I suppose… ! He casually flipped to the page where the boxes were drawn. Then started the intense calculations… His frail tiny hands jumped from one box to another … his hands ran along the boxes the way we used to do when we used to play snakes and ladder… He then erupted into a smile… HE is the reason for you coming here he announced pointing to “Venus”.!!! LOL! He was accusing a planet ehh! Then came a series of explanations about how Juipiter and Venus were friends and how Saturn was the one who always spoiled their plans. Suddenly he turned to me and asked… “Will you destroy ur own house?? “ Emerging out of the story-listening mood I managed to mumble a “No I wont.. Infact no one will”He said… “Good.. exactly.. so even Juipiter wont! He is generally a sane guy!” Was fascinating listening to him talk about the planets like they were his long associations.. like they were his pals..! He was then talking about the SUN like he was talking about actor surya… like he were flesh and blood! My granny who is INTO all these things was all ears and giving her own contributions to the building story! Listening to the nonagenarian speak was a real experience! He managed to almost find out why we had come and proceeded to tell us what we should do to please his good friends Mars and Mercury and partners in crime Rahu and KetuJ I couldn’t but help smile in surprise at the close bonding he seemed to feel with the planets we can barely see! Sometime later I had to visit a friend. She welcomed me in with the longest face she could put on and when I asked her what happened.. she blabbered something like.. look at the way he is yelling! She then pulled me into her room. I was expecting some good looking(?!!) friend of hers had pulled her leg and miss sensitive had as usual gotten upset. I went into the room and there was no one. I searched everywhere and half expected some guy to pop from behind the curtains but nothing of that sort ever happened. Hiding my disappointment I asked Who? She pointed to her computer! One close look and I discovered she had been accusing the COMPILER all along ! All it had done was to throw just about 250 errors minus the zillion warnings ! No wonder she was angry with HIM.. How on earth had she decided the compiler was a HE?!! Well what is it that was happening? People were just doing what Ragesh(a good friend of mine) often calls Surrogacy…! Seeing something in something else..!! Seeing life in these non – living things ! In everyone’s life comes a lonely patch when suddenly everyone seems to have vanished and dark clouds loom large overhead! ! Probably it is these lifeless things full of life that makes them spring back again.. !  Thinking a little more about it.. looks like many people actually do it.!.Haven’t we seen scientists talking to the lab equipments? Sculptors talking to their creations? Who can forget Rajinikanth cuddling his taxi Lakshmi (in some movie)!!. Hey maybe it actually works ! Sounds like its worth a try.. ! U game?? Me gonna start right way….! Its simple.. just talk to the first thing u see..? So here we go.. Hey WordPress… !! Wasssup dude?? Think u’ l help me save my post do u???!

 

Time to say bye….

Ahhh.. Its Ten o clock..SHIT! Mom says.. Rahu kalam mudinjidthu..We can start..  Really?? I ask myself.. as I feel its just about to start… Shifting from the place I have called home since birth.. definite rahu kalam here after… ! There is something about this whole shifting thing.. Really weird it makes one feel.. Every thing.. Things I would barely notice in my 8-8 routine.. now seem to have a story attached to it… As I start packing things I probably haven’t touched in the last 22 years (yupp rite..  my mom usually does all the cleaning at home:P)  those familiar rings of flash-back appear in front of my eyes… jus like in the movies and I am swimming in those pool of memories welling up in my head. As I remove the bamboo swing off its hook… I wonder how many stuffy powerless nights its been our saviour.. me and sis would be fighting to swing on it for some air and finally both of us would be cudddled in its arms… Too bad.. the new house doesn’t have a hook to put the swing in..I am just absentmindedly loading stuff into the huge lorry  in front of out house… As if I am doing it for someone else.. Am just hallucinating everything around telling me.. “don’t goooo” .. from the custard apple tree which has grown with me into a beautiful tree from the seeds I so carefully planted after listening to an inspiring ‘science miss’ in 6^th standard.. to the hibiscus tree which we smuggled from the “pakathu aathu” aunty’s house … to that rabid dog that dirties my scooty peeing under it every night… everything seems so dear suddenly.. The “vinay“ temple that me and myth built with the idol we had bought for ganesh chaturthi.. that silly old blind black cat that always crossed my path and bought super luck..  ( yeah the only time I ever got a centum in maths was when it crossed my path..Lol) I seem to be senti about everything.. I have become silly to the point that I have begun talking to the cupboards and shelves and doors and windows… This is the last time I am going to be banging you shut.. this is the last time I am gonna be locking you up.. U ll have new owners tomorrow.. One last time I went to the terrace where I ve studied for every single exam since standard 8.. Thanks to u I am an engineer I say.. if it weren’t for the you beautiful terrace I wouldn’t have probably studied half as much as I did… I am looking at even the stars so dearly as if they are gonna look different from the new place tomorrow .. Silly swa that I am! Its jus the mood I guess.. The neighbours of 20 years are dropping in to say a bye.. aaaargh I hate this! All the mami’s who ve been like family…who’ve experimented all their new dishes on me.. shared joy and sorrow.. New neighbours tom.. godd… don’t even wanna think of it now… The colony watch man.. the maid servant who have so faithfully been with us all these years.. all getting senti now.. Unable to bear the senti inside I step out rite to face my school.. my alma matter.. I ve not lost touch with even a single teacher who taught me thanks to the luxury of living rite opposite school.. not any longer… it rings in my head… I look at the street where we’ve have played all our lives… twenty little things running helter skelter as if hide and seek was life and death.. the water tank we used to hide under.. the iron vandi that was the hot hiding spot… all my ‘thatha friends’ .. who used to give me clues when I was “catcher”..I walk a little longer..  my music class – the place that was once temple.. . ajitha’s terrace.. our “hideout”.. M block… where we really “grew up” and where I met my best friends… the blue cross road where we’ve had our longest walks and amazing gossip sessions.…! A little further I reach “Jasmine” the shop that seems to have it all… anything I need at any hour.. the tiny shop and the smiling owner who would never disappoint me.. the vegetable vendors whose delicious veggies I ve eaten all my life..says he cant believe we are going away…I wave my good bye.. A little down ahead the bus stop where I ve boarded college bus for 4 years and office bus for 2 years now.. Tomorrow it’s a new place… I hear mom calling me …. Its for real…We’re leaving.. this is not my house anymore.. its just NO.19 customs colony from today.. ! “Follow the lorry “says mom sitting behind me on the scooter.. wroooomm….

 

Its “Shoe” time again!

Shoe! Shoe!

Well.. one more shoe hurling incident and this time at the country’s home minister and the media lappps it up like a beggar hungry since birth.Every frame.. Every possible angle…Every possible person to get “reactions” from.. Its a ‘SHOE’PPER day for them… ! Jus thinking about the after effects of this incident.. Am sure for the next one week our inboxes will be flooded with “throw a shoe” games starring PC in white and white and forwards giving us all the details ranging from how long Mr jarnail has been wearing that shoe.. to wat was the force with which he threw the shoe… to whether there were previous instances of him throwing stuff before and so on… The political parties may go a step further and in future ban shoes ,chappals and other “throwable” stuff being bought into their media rooms.. The akali dal which has promised mr jarnail a 2 lakh award for protesting on behalf of the SIKH community may in fact make him their contestant in the near future.. who knows?!The “SHOE” is on its way to become the ultimate symbol of protest.It is definitely going to rank “1″ in atleast a dozen surveys this year like “the sexiest weapon of the year” or or some thing similar. Journalism as a career is going to take a serious beating .Journalists who are supposed to believe that the “pen is mightier than the shoe” are themselves surrendering to the shoe! Just by hurling a shoe he has pulled the whole nation’s attention towards an issue thats being written abt page after page after page since 1984! Am sure the “Go Green” guys must be saying “How much paper waste!” Just one shoe was enuff ! Hmph! Politicians will now have to “satisfy” a journalist when they happens to question them. We better get prepared to listen to answers as long as those in the 16 mark questions section of a tamil nadu stateboard 12th standard students paper. Saad! Movie directors will now be vying to name movies seruppu/chappal/shoe/sandal and all variations of them. Shoe companies would probably start having taglines like Adidas – Ek shoe bhi bas.. Reebok – agar sikhana hai sabok…Nike – for the men behind the mike!(OK OK …I dont think am very good at it…. But i know u ‘Caught’it:))

Ok.. lemme stop jabbering and talk some sense.. lest u think I was hit by a shoe just as I started writing which affected my left brain a bit. For one thing politicians around the world should wake up and keep their eyes open (not to duck away from shoes) but to issues that need to be resolved. Its a strong message that people are tired of being burried by the beauracracy.There are no longer afraid to protest as these incidents have shown the way. Since mr jarnail has not even been arrested it has been left off as “acceptable” behaviour. So keep a watch! who knows wat next? As for the journalists, well if educated classes like them start flinging stuff in the middle of a press conf.. what can we expect from the slum dwellers and the uneducated? Watch it folks!

 

Sweet Sorrow??

Over the past one week I’ ve somehow come to realise there are actually so many sweet little joys that we hardly seem to take notice of and almost overlook in this frenzied hurry burry life of ours! We must learn to now and then stick our heads out of our closed cubicles and our code –filled monitors and collect those ‘never going to get back’ moments that are strewn all around us. For instance NOTHING in the world can match the joy of meeting your best buddies after a long gap! And more so if u haven’t had the chance of seeing each other in the in – between time frame. The excited hugs on the meeting.. The customary “Oh myyy! u’ ve become soooooooooooo thin/fat/chubby/cute/tall/hot”(Always the first one in my case!! sigh! ).. the immediate gossip about other close friends in the gang and their latest ‘avatars’.. updates on school/college happenings.. recounting all the mokais and jokes we shared together.. catching up on how other common friends have ‘performed’.. thinking back of all the papers we flunked together.. the shopping we’ve done in tow.. the ‘amazing’ movies we’ve tolerated together.. the games we’ve played hand in hand .. the supposedly ‘group study’ night-outs, the times we’ve been kicked outta class together.. the various failed cooking attempts.. the million nick names we gave each other.. the whereabouts of the people in our ‘HIT-LIST’:P.. the birthdays we would have hung out together.. stories of how we still carefully preserve the gifts we’ve given each other… the dog chases and the bike stunts… the ups and the downs… our meetings by the sea… the visits to our favorite eat-outs.. snapshots all our trips and adventures… the minute by minute explanations of ‘hot happenings’ that were missed by either.. all our future plans and partnerships..the songs we’ve sung together… the pranks we’ve played on each other… and finally , the ‘MISSED U DUDE!!’ part.. The feeling.. JUS PRICELESS! Probably it is this joy of re-uniting that prompted Shakespeare to say ‘Parting is SWEET SORROW’!! Indeed it is!

 

Just Not Kids Anymore!

Get ready swathii! Its Lateeee already!!! screams Radhika. We were leaving to one of our school mate’s wedding and we were all excited at the prospect of meeting the whole school gang again. Here we were in one of chennai’s biggest marriage halls, right in the heart of the city. It was teeeeming with people dressed in dazzling clothes, clutching gifts in their hands and making their way into the jam packed hall with their dear ones in tow. We spotted the rest of our friends and managed to find ourselves a contiguous block of seats right at the back! Since the bride and groom had not yet come on to the stage we were busy catching up with the latest gossip, when the music troupe for the day, which was until then testing their instruments started in full swing!!!! It was again a very popular music troupe so we had no doubt they would be crooning the latest numbers and would keep us on our toes. Since they weren’t supposed to be the main attraction for the day their stage was set up behind us so we could only hear them. To usher in the mood, the first song was a romaaantic number. We were enjoying it soo much we barely noticed the bride and groom had arrived on stage . Our friend looked stunning! And so was the man! We were all excited and were talking of the saree, her hairdo and her smile and suddenly we were jolted outta our seats when the troupe decided to get into “kuthu song” mode. The percussionists went Bang! Bang! Bang!  But the moment the singer began, the 1000 strong audience craaaned their neck backwards all at once because the singer sounded sooooo tiny! Yess we were rite. It was this reaaly tiny cutie pie of a gal, barely 3ft tall, standing on a stool because she couldn’t reach the mike and she was singing away to glory!!! I was filled with so much amazement at the way she sang that I did not care to notice what she was singing. But when I did.. it pained! It pained to hear a child of seven sing disco, vodka and pub! Words our generation had not even heard of till we were probably at high school and my mom probably hasn’t heard even now  Kids these days don’t seem to enjoy that real, unadulterated virgin innocence that we and our predecessors enjoyed as kids. The next song made my BP soar even higher as another kiddo flirted sensually with a man as old as her dad! Not just this one instance, switch on the TV and u have kids in debate shows talking stuff like love and marriage and relationships! In the name of stand-up comedy they go on and say things which would make me and you squirm in our seats. Why deny them that innocence they have a right to enjoy. In the mask of making their kids display their talents and in the parents claim to name, fame and money they are depriving them of the one thing they can have only as kids. Real innocence! In the age when u shud be teaching them kathrika vendakka or even better, murukha shanmukha, for the lord’s sake don’t teach them naka muka and thimuka athimuka!

 

What’s in a NAME?

No sooner had my colleague informed that she was in the family way…(yeah pregnant!) and had asked the team to suggest names for the newborn.. the whole team was alll enthu and they immediately started suggesting names. We suddenly felt a huge responsibility on our shoulders because the poor kid was going to live with that name for the rest of its life..So we decided not to jus randomly throw abt names and got into the act!

 

 

First was one guy who was a singer…If its a gal.. she shud be “bhairavi” he declared..! Immediate opposition!!! Y u ask? It seems there was one of those SUPER/STAR/TOP singer shows on TV where one gal was screamed at because her name was shruthi and she had not adhered to the shruthi while singing… so imagine if the kid happens to be bhairavi and she participates in one of these shows.. she has to master sindhu bhairavi,nata bhairavi,anandha bhairavi,aahir bhairavi….my god! <head spinning> oh the poor child! so we dropped it rite there! And with that went all the kalyanis, all the priyas, all the ranjanis…! Phew!

 

Gals name starting trouble.. lets look for guys names..! OK.. Hmmm…. Since her husband’s name ended with a Krishna..  it doesnt seem to make sense having the kid named after krishna too! AAAh! this itself seemed to wipe out half the names.. No gopal and co.. no srinivas and co.. no murali and co.. no gokul and co.. no shyam and co.. no narayanan and co.. no govind and co.. no giri and co.. no hari and co.. no madhu and co… no keshav and co.. no vasudev and co.. no yadhu and co.. Phew!!

So.. we were Back to the gals… Hmmmm… Then someone suggested the name should start with A/B because they always seem to have an advantage when services are offered based on alphabetical order and they dont have to wait at all! Again immediate oppostion saying that whenever assignments or homework need to be submitted it is they who are caught first and the ones named in R,S and later alphabets would always escape because they would finish writin by the time their names are called.. hee hee fair enough!!

 

Many more suggestions ensued but all of them were immediately rejected.. guess y? seems they were the names of villains in some goddamn TV serial!!.. sooo many channels airing soooo many serials.. each serial having multiple villi/villains! Oh no! So as counter, someone started the reverse and started naming the protagonists of the serials.. But they were also rejected because the protagonists invariably had alll the problems and all the enemies in the world and the poor child shouldnt suffer a similar fate! Wat all sentiments ppl have! Hmph!

 

 

There were many other names rejected for the simple reason they bought someone’s face to mind.. For instance srk has played RAJ so many times and Salman has played PREM so many times that the immediate mention brings their faces to mind. Similar thing preventing a trisha or a khushboo or a nayantara for that matter…

 

 

The discussion went on and on.. but conclusion.. NO WHERE IN SIGHT! That was when out furious lead came and put an end to our intellectual discussion saying  “There s no such thing as a good name. Its good deeds and good will that makes a good name”. What only happened finally u ask..?? Well.. We just wished the TO-BE-PARENTs “GUD LUCK” with the naming and happily went back to our coding(After all We needed to do some good deeds which will not only fetch us a good name but good appraisals too right??  ;) )

 

 

 

Principle please…

This one is definitely the outcome of having seen an interesting debate show that was aired in one of the local TV channels this weekend.. well.. the topic was quite interesting..

Whether it is easy to have principles in life and follow them too…

On one side were the ‘youth’ who had all kinds of weird principles and on the other side were the ‘oldies’ who had seen it all and done it all and were certain that one cannot stick to his/her principles in a country like ours…

There were all kinds of principles that were discussed…. some really good ones.. like marrying a widow/widower… adopting a child.. Donating their entire  life to service of the needy.. not accepting or giving dowry.. Donating part of their earnings to sponsoring a child’s education .. not accepting bribes …noble.. Really noble.. Then some silly stuff from not eating non-veg food…. to deciding to remaining single one’s whole life.. to remaining an atheist forever.. to devoting oneself to spirituality.. and so on… And then there were the arguments as to why some principles were practically not possible to live with… and how those who had principles had actually sacrificed their principles for the sake of someone or something else…

Do I have similar principles that I would like to follow all my life? Hmmm…. There was someone who once said..

 I am a man of fixed and unbending principles,the first of which is to be flexible at all times  

So here I go.. So of my fixed and unbending principles…

I would definitely like to be a law abiding citizen to the maximum possible extent. If Jayalalitha says rain water should be harvested.. jus harvest it man.. If Karunanidhi says wear ur helmet when u drive .. jus wear it.. If Ramdoss says don’t smoke in public.. DONT.. if a new one day chief minister says pay all ur taxes.. pay it! If there is a “No free left turn” board.. don’t turn left no matter how badly ur hands start itching.. just follow the law… it definitely means no harm.. not a very difficult principle to live by.. aint it..?

 Another one wud be… I hate seeing myself in debt.. have 1000 bucks? I would rather buy the best I can for 999 bucks, put the one rupee in a piggy bank and live like a king rather than buying for 10,000 bucks and languishing in debt till I repay it… So all you vaddi kadai karargal.. keep distance from swa!

Another one… would be… to definitely give a looooong boring lecture littered with all the expletives I know to any below 70 gentleman/lady I see smoking or drinking in my presence irrespective of whether they want to listen to it or not..!(Why below 70 u ask?? Well.. If they haven’t changed for 70 looong years after listening to scores of people like me.. I wouldn’t want to waste my time on them)…  I am definitely with Anbumani Ramadoss on this one!! BAN TOBACCO!! BAN ALCOHOL!! Anything you want me to do to stop someone from smoking or consuming alcohol.. I am GAME!

So those were some of my principles and if you didn’t like them.. well I have others

Am sure you guys have principles too that you’d like to live with.. Do share them with me.. So I can expand my list too

 

 

         

 

 

 

Critic^2????

I put hand to keyboard wanting to write about something which is everyone’s  companion in good and bad times.. yess! Good music…!!! But as I listen to Unni krishnan mellifluosly crooning Kaaa vaa vaaa(Varali)  in one of my noisiest neighbour’s houses…my mind wavers to wat it would be like if I were a celebrity musician like unni krishnan…mmmmmm…

Think of all the packed concert halls.. all the awards, the recordings… the interviews… the applauses… the recognition and … just when I was flying….OHHH!!!Suddenly as if one harry potter fame death eater had come and taken away all the happiness everything went dark after I thought of this rather pesty-nosy specimens found in almost every musician’s concert as uninvited guests.. they call themselves “REVIEW writers” or in layman terms .. “CRITICS”

Though there are genuine “rare” gems in this CLAN who have literally shaped or in some cases even resurrected the careers of certain musicians by faithfully following their every concert in the remotest of nooks and writing how they have gradually upped their levels… the majority of the clan.. are reallll PESTS

Phew!Their Curriculum vitae would probably read:

Name       : Carnatic music review writer/Critic

Occupation : Ripping apart the country’s top classical artists for the silliest of reasons

Salary     : atleast a rupee more than the musician being reviewed!!(They are realllly paid good money!)

Well some of these so-called Review writers literally have a problem with WATEVER these poor musicians do.. If they can’t really find a flaw in the performance of an artist and they have already received the month’s payment for the review column, they start looking for ANYTHING they can write about:

1. If Sanjay subrahmaniyam has a ravana-ish moustache they have a problem but if TK Govinda rao sir would be clean shaven am sure they would have a problem

2.If sudha raghunathan is decked up in parampara pattu saree they have a problem but if anuradha sreeram doesnt wear a silk sarees to the concert they have a problem!

3.If aruna sairam sings bhajans .. they have a problem but if bombay jaysree doesn’t end with bhajans they have a problem!

4.If OS Arun singings hindustani-style carnatic they have a problem but if OS Thyagarajan sings absolutely unadulterated pure carnatic they stilll have a problem!!

5.If it’s a thematic concert and there are all new songs they have a problem but if it’s not thematic and all are known songs they still say “there was no surprise element”!

 Even the legendary Balamurali krishna and MS Subbalakshmi were not spared! 

Imagine making a career just by finding fault! Apart from concentrating on their sruthi, laya, thala, manobhava and doing justice to the song and the composer and finding the way into the audience’s hearts.. the poor musicians have to satisfy these pests too!

Wat all they expect from these poor singers! There are critics who follow the musicians to each and every one of their concerts. It is inevitable that during the peak seasons when top musicians sing almost all thirty days of the month they tend to sing songs that they are comfortable with based on the strain of the voice and the crowd and other factors.. but no! in one word they would be dismissed as “repeating the same songs”.. now…. who asked u to go behind them to every concert???

It is not always that these musicians can be in the best of their moods.. after all they are humans too.. one day the kalpana swarams dont come out as supposed to or the alap is a little less imaginative… U ARE A GONNER and the critics have a field day!u are simply branded incapable by the same guy who would have said u are THE singer of the season…!

Pity that the musicians have to put up with such pests apart from concentrating on their singing and   delivering their best!

One day it’s my smaaal desire to have all these critics lined up on stage and see how they go about singing!

BY THE WAY.. I hope U are not branding me Critic^{2 (} “Critic squared” ) for being critical of critics themselves..!!! Am just saying..

Criticism when constructive is a necessary evil.. but is an absolutely unwelcome guest when   destructive..! My feeble attempt at making u pause and think before u point fingers at someone the next time:) Hope it works!:)